Sunday, September 21, 2008

HOW TO LIVE LIFE

A new set of rules have been finalized to create a better future for all males. 
(yes iv been watching way too much how i met your mother)
regardless, October 14th the new religion will be published.
until then the new standards are released, these guidelines have been put in place:

1. Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.

 

2. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

 

3. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

 

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.

B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.

C. Is you're buddy's sister.

 

However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.

 

4. Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game.

 

5. You must never own a cat.

 

6. If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:

 

A. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).

B. Your acquaintances.

C. Your co-workers.

D. The mailman.

E. The UPS guy.

F. NASA.

G. John Kerry.

....Z. Your girlfriend.

 

7. You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. (Mine are Dawson's Creek and Love, Actually). You may have no more. And if you like Grease, well, we're already too late.

 

8. Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.

 

9. If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once.

 

10. There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.

 

11. If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.

 

12. Standard shotgun rules are as follows.

 

A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.

B. Shotgun must be called outside.

C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.

D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.

 

13. NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Hey, congratulations, another girl can stand the sight of you. You don't need to wear her like a ******* trophy.

 

14. It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."

 

15. Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.

 

? 16. Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team. It doesn't matter how ludicrous the other guy sounds telling you that Jake Plummer was better than Steve McNair last season, let him be.

 

17. When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.

 

18. Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

 

19. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

 

20. Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.

 

21. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 bros.

 

22. A bro should not sing and dance at the same time

 

23. A bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

 

18. Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

 

19. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

 

20. Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.

 

21. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 bros.

 

22. A bro should not sing and dance at the same time

 

23. A bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

 

24. Bros do not lie about their age, exept to score with a slightly older chick who doesnt date younger guys.

 

25. A bro should not swing his arms when he is walking.

 

26. A bro should never carry a woman's handbag

 

27. A bro should never go tanning.

 

28. No bro should dye their hair

 

29. A bro should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"

 

30. A bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

 

31. A bro should not "pop" his collar.

 

32. A bro should not speak more than two languages.

 

33. A bro should never say "it's to die for"

 

34. A bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.

 

35. A bro should not wear an ascot.

 

36. A bro should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.

 

37. A bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.

 

38. A bro should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw

 

39. A bro should never wear a blouse.

 

40. If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.

 

41. A bro should not wear crocs.

 

42. A bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.

 

43. A bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders

 

44. A bro should not eat grapes from the vines

 

45. A bro should never rollerblade

 

46. The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone

 

47. If you compliment a bro on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

 

48. A bro should never, ever wear capri pants.

 

48. A bro should not wear flip flops with a suit.

 

49. No bro should wear a speedo to the beach

 

50. No bro should make a kissing face in a photo.

 

51. No bro should wear girl jeans

 

52. No bro should ever get a pedicure

 

53. A bro should never highlight his hair.

 

54. A bro should not talk to another bro in the bathroom.

 

55. A bro should never sing show tunes.

 

56. A bro should never eat out of another man's hands.

 

57.Two bro should not share an umbrella.

 

58. A bro should not have "an outfit".

 

59. A bro should not wear a white belt.

 

60. A bro should never wiggle out of a pair of pants

 

61. "A bro will, in a timely manner, alert his bro to the existence of a girl fight." A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged

 

63. A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has three times confirmed it's cool.

 

64. A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro / chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

 

65. If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's girlfriend's birthday and / or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

 

66. One Bro makes a solo chick attack.

A second Bro provides a crutch.

A third Bro rounds out the pack.

But a fourth Bro is one too much.

 

67. Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl's wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother.

 

68. A Bro shall honor his father and mother.

 

69. In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longe

 

70. In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity, including but not limited to; the high five, the first bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

 

71. A Bro much provide his bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro's favorite sports team in a playoff scenario.

 

72. A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drink(s) among Bros with the assumtion that no existing wager supersedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.

 

73. If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a "that sucks, man" and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

 

74. Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

 

75. If a Bro is on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possibly to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or temporarily immigrating to a foreign country.

 

76. "A Bro never cries."

 

77. "A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro." Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro's mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. Should a Bro discover his Bro is in fact adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro's adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating non-biological parentage through notarized birth certificates, hospital records, or comparative dioxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is easiest. Since the adopted Bro cannot legitimately claim to have shared a canal with his Bro. Though the mom of a Bro is always off limits, the step-mom of a Bro is allowed if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing. If she looks good in it.

 

78. No sex with a bros Ex

 

79. No Eye contact in a Devils threesome ( 2 dudes)

 

80. Never make fun of a bros Girlfriend

 

81. No sex With a Bros Ex

 

82. No eye contact during a Devils Three Way (Two Dudes)

 

83. A bro must never call another bro just to chat

 

84. A Bro Must Never Saw "Awww"

 

85. A Bro must Never watch the movie Hope Floats

 

86. A Bro must be a fan of Mixed Martial Arts

 

87. A Bro must never take a bath regardless of being injured in a Backyard Wrestling Match

 

88. Leave No Bro Behind

 

89. When another bro is in a fight you must always have his back, unless he has done something recently which would deserve a beating then let him recieve a few shots then jump in

 

90. A bro must never leave without saying anything

 

91. A bro always be willing to do something awesome™

 

92. A bro must never chug any drink unless in a chugging contest

 

93. Bros must make small bets as often as possible

 

94. Bros must have a good time no matter what

 

95. Bros must make movies quotes as often as possible

 

96. Bros must watch the movie WEDDING CRASHERS at least once a month

 

97. Bros must watch the show entourage

 

98. Bros must never comment each other on myspace. If your comments are viewable on your profile it needs to be chicks only. Messeges only, but still never just to chat ( Rule 83)

 

99. A bro must never tell other bros he has a "broken heart"

 

100. A bro must never distract another bro while playing Guitar Hero.

 

101. A bro must never put smily faces in messeges, comments, texts etc.

 

102. If one Bro is an attorney, and another Bro finds himself in need of legal advice, Bro 1 will endeavor to provide said services free of charge.

 

103. Should a bro discover a new planet and/or orbiting body of subsequent planet, he shall not be allowed to name said astrological body after any girl

 

104. A Bro shall NEVER follow 'conventional' rules whilst playing the divine game of Battleship.

 

105. A bro must, at all times, suit up.

EXCEPTION: Funerals. A suit is a happy thing. If a bro must mourn, he shall do it in a white T-shirt.

 

106. A bro will always give a non-bro , if considerd worthy, a challange if said non-bro wants to join the brohood. The challange will be chosen by said bro, or other bros present.

 

107. A bro never hits another bro in the groin unless its a punishment for breaking The Bro Code.

 

108. Once a bro, always a bro. When/if The Bro Code is ever broken, said bro will do whatever the effected bro desires. If the second bro is unable to come up with anything, we shall revert to the rules of a Slap Bet, therefore the first bro will have to choose between ten slaps by effected bro or five slaps to be carried out at any point in time. If no bro is affected, his best bro must choose a modest punishment in public




Friday, September 19, 2008

Alcohol

ever been sooo drunk you dance to HORRIBLE MUSIC (backstreet boys... Sclub7 etc)
been out to the uni bar for drinks, and there were REALLY drunk guys dancing together... (yes guys)...
this is the music that clubs play to get people to leave at 4am....

kind of reminded me of summer :)

but yea.... have you ever then this drunk???


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Out of time. Out of money.

heres the problem...
we allocate money for expenses. $25 each per week.
that covers 200 for electricity, 200 for internet phone etc.
now, were getting billed 330 for electricity, and 300 for internet...

i put up the 300 for internet.
200 was allocated.
The 100 i have put up and now have to bill.
180gb of internet were used, and some people use more net than others...

now the power bill is due next week.
330.
i cant afford to put up another 130

last time we got a power bill, no one talked to me for the day, and i still have not gone in reuben's room.

how do you bill it when you cannot allocate it directly to each person.
now, the people who know they use more, do not want to pay more. they want to split it evenly.
those who dont use much power want it split fairly.

problem is, no one wants to decide. i cant pay it this time. and im sick of getting the cold sholder for the next week.
so heres the plan:

they have 1 week to get the money to me. they can sort out how.
if i dont get the money, i cancel the power account and some one else can account for it.

im sick of dealing with this. you dont want to pay extra... STOP USING SO MUCH....
so yea. if anyone else can come up with a solution, please share

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Power

Simple question: how much is your power bill per month?

if you dont pay the power bill, go ask you parents, or whoever does pay.
just for interests sake.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Stressful times

6 weeks.
6 weeks till exams...
6 exams...
and a lot of work to cover...
don't know how the hell im going to get through it all, and its actually freaking me out.
not cool.

so many stressful and sleepless nights to come.
joy.

back straight right??? final stretch, for another year.
sigh.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Procrastinating

the fruits of procrastinating...
hottest desktop ever, and all in mac.
As you can tell, im very very bored and supposed to be in the library studying for accounting test next week, but really dont want to be....

anyway, who said procrastinating isnt productive